Talking Nice to Ourselves

How much time do we spend talking nice to and about ourselves?

What would you look like getting all fired up about how great you are? What about getting fired up about how great your life is? What if you got up and looked at yourself in the mirror and just let it rip?

HA! I think we ALL should get in our underwear, some of us can get up on our sinks and others of us probably should not, look at ourselves, and just go wild crazy positive on ourselves!

The other morning I was letting my dogs outside and I flicked my tongue against a set of back molars. Ugh, I realized that I had forgotten to floss the night before. This is important to me because: A. I LOVE to floss,  B. I always get huge positive chatter from my dental hygienist as such a good flosser, C. I totally need to floss that section.

In the past I may have gotten all down on myself and, over even a little thing like forgetting to floss one night, I could have spent an hour insulting myself. That one little "let down" about myself could have spiraled into the reason that I would never accomplish my goals to my perfect satisfaction...if I can't even remember to floss one tiny section of my teeth...what good am I?

“If you celebrate your differentness, the world will, too. It believes exactly what you tell it—through the words you use to describe yourself, the actions you take to care for yourself, and the choices you make to express yourself. Tell the world you are one-of-a-kind creation who came here to experience wonder and spread joy. Expect to be accommodated.”
― Victoria Moran, Lit From Within: Tending Your Soul For Lifelong Beauty 

I wonder how each of us would feel if throughout our days we only spoke nicely to ourselves. I actually began doing that many years ago when I discovered what I said to myself when my expectations of another person did not match the reality of who or what they did. When I would be "let down" by someone else, I would say to myself, "I am soooo stupid. I should have known." I caught myself telling myself over and over again, "I am so stupid."

“The most influential and frequent voice you hear is your inner-voice. It can work in your favor or against you, depending on what you listen to and act upon.”
― Maddy Malhotra, How to Build Self-Esteem and Be Confident: Overcome Fears, Break Habits, Be Successful and Happy

"Eekgads", I thought to myself one day, "That is not very nice!" I prided myself in being a kind, positive support out in the world. I would NEVER EVER have told someone that they were stupid, especially in the continuous way that I badgered myself with this judgement. If I commit to being a kind talker, well then I must be a kind talker, even if it is to me!

The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I'm not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Soon I replaced my reaction to disappointed expectations with something entirely different. When I felt that anger feeling start to rush up my body, and then the accompanying sadness, I would begin to comfort myself. "It is okay, Aileen", I would lovingly say to myself. "It is wonderful that you stretched to trust." That was a starting point of good self talk. Soon, whenever I would do something myself that was in conflict with my own expectations of my behaviors, I would lovingly comment to myself, "Look at how cute you are. Of course you would do that because that is what you do. And some day you may not do it that way. This is good now and that will be good then, when it is time to do it differently. See, Aileen? All is well."

"it may help to remember this great line of Geneen Roth's: that awareness is learning to keep yourself company. And then learn to be more compassionate company, as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage. I doubt that you would read a close friend's early efforts and, in his or her presence, roll your eyes and snicker. I doubt that you would pantomime sticking your finger down your throat. I think you might say something along the lines of, 'Good for you. We can work out some of the problems later, but for now, full steam ahead!”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life 

There are many different ways to learn and execute a more loving and kind talking pattern to yourself. You can make that list of all your wonderful talents and say it back to yourself. You can spontaneously look in the mirror at yourself and shout out all the things you like and love, including things about yourself. You can have an intention, like the greatest Private Eye ever, and catch yourself talking negative and mean to yourself. After you catch yourself, just change it up. Lovingly nurture yourself and tell yourself that everything is fine, that all is well. Oddly, somewhere along the way, we became our worst critic. The bullies are gone, the family of origin barrage is gone, the ex-girlfriend/boyfriends are gone...it is just us, criticizing us.

When we give our power back over to ourselves, then we can make some real changes happen in how we talk to ourselves. When we realize that we make our own sunshine, and that not even WE can break ourselves....well, then it is a First Day To Begin Talking Nice to Ourselves. Being so hard on ourselves does not produce better results next time. Talking negatively to ourselves does not increase our success. 

Only positive and loving self talk can open up our days to the flow of reality that we want and need in our lives.

May Today be a First Day To Begin Talking Nice to Ourselves so that we may know the most powerful and long lasting love of all....Self Love.