Years ago I was working in a nursing home. I loved my job there. I created and facilitated activities. There was a Christian Chaplain there who would work with the residents and offered some services.
One day I was standing next to a new resident who had come from Norway. She was a large hardy woman and she spoke no English. Her family flew her to the United States to take care of her. She was in a wheelchair. She was sobbing and crying as I walked by her, so I stopped. She looked up at me and then reached out to touch my white dress. She pulled the skirted part to her face and blew her nose in it. I didn't care. What was the value of a dress that could be washed relative to the value of being present for a woman who was suffering so greatly. As this woman blew her nose and wiped her eyes in my dress, I turned slightly to see the chaplain looking at me, almost in shock. Our eyes met, and then he scurried away.
A few weeks later just he and I were at a lunch table in the employee cafeteria.
"I saw what you did for Mrs. (X)", he noted to me. I acknowledged that he was talking to me while I kept eating. He continued speaking, "That was a very Christian thing to do, but you're not Christian are you?"
I felt very comfortable with this man as well as with the religious association that I was an active part of at that time. "I am a Unitarian Universalist", I shared with him.
He began talking to me about his experiences and all of his learning. He told me why everything he discovered had brought him to confirm Christianity. I told him that everything I had learned brought me to confirm the mystery and as a UU I could continue the discovery in a very expansive, open way.
Our conversation was both meaningful and pointless. Finally he told me that because he liked me so much, he wanted me to be saved. If I could accept Jesus as my one and only Savior then I could be saved. I could feel his genuine love and concern for me. I felt honored and cared for because this man wanted me to experience safety, eternal freedom, and extreme love. I thanked him sincerely for wanting me to be saved. This seemed to frustrate him even more. I authentically acknowledged his loving offering, even though I wasn't going to participate in his system's criteria. We ended the lunch in this way:
Alan the Chaplain: "I don't understand this. You are walking away happy with out conversation. You feel good because I care about you and you understand that. You enjoyed our conversation and you feel great about everything."
Me: "Yes, that sounds about right."
Alan the Chaplain: " But I am frustrated and sad that you won't accept Jesus. I am leaving here feeling worse then when I came in. All day today this is going to bother me. "
Me: "Yes, that seems true."
And then we parted ways to go back to work.
This is the new paradigm reality. Systems are no longer going to keep us limited nor do we have to qualify our value by external systems. Those people attached strongly to any system are going to feel sad and frustrated. People who can live in the open mystery and yes, fly by the seat of their pants, are going to enjoy life and be happy. The new paradigm shift says, "Be Happy".
This chaplain was having great difficulty accepting me and my behaviors in a free form. He had to find some way to explain me through the system in which he had chosen to fully engage with...the lens through which he saw the world.
This has happened to me often. As someone who was diagnosed as "hyperactive" at age three, it is very difficult for me to stay confined in any way. It is also difficult for me to filter myself and not talk about systems and programs that try to keep me or others confined! This is why I am very excited for this new paradigm!
I remember when the "consensus" process came in as a way of decision making. This is different than voting with a majority ruling getting its way. Consensus is about discussion, collaboration, and listening. There are two ways to block a decision that is made through consensus - preference and principle. If a group of people is ordering a pizza and they decide on a sausage pizza, someone can block that decision on preference, which is that they are okay with sausage however, they would prefer ham. In this case, the group would revisit and ask if this person would be okay with sausage, acknowledging that ham is his or her first choice. The other way that a decision can be blocked is by principle. For example, if someone was a vegetarian, and even if he or she was one of twelve people and all eleven wanted sausage, he or she can block that decision by stating that he or she is a
vegetarian. On principle, he or she cannot eat sausage. The group would then probably chose a vegetarian pizza or work together to make sure the vegetarian was satisfied by ordering specific appropriate food for her or his needs. The majority doesn't win and neither do the bullies- Just loving thoughtful inclusive collaboration. New Paradigm here we come!
People of all ages are choosing to be happy. We no longer want to feel crappy about ourselves because we don't meet some standard of criteria from a system; not thin enough, not smart enough, not enough money, not in rhythm enough, not fast enough, not wearing the right shoes. We have rebelled and we will continue rebelling. Our happiness is not contingent on the acceptance of an external system created out of fearful control of the masses. We don't need to be controlled, we need to be free! Our woundedness is what what makes us do hurtful things in society and our woundedness comes from a punishing society. So we are all walking away. What does this Paradigm shift say? It says don't be disgusted with yourself, or ashamed, or embarrassed. It says to seek joy, and authenticity, and love. It says rejoice in who you are and in who others are. It catapults us into the revolution of speaking the truth to come together, not tear us apart. The new paradigm builds us up, it does not destroy the unique beauty of who we are.
The new paradigm shift says that this is the time of the Happiness Revolution! The Revolution of the Spirit!
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