Hitting the PotHoles on the Road to More Happiness

So, you are moving along your path in life, feeling good, and driving along the High Vibration Highway when *KATHUNK*! You hit a pothole! ARGHHHHHH!!! But you were feeling soooooo good!!!

"Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God."

—Ram Dass

 

We often can get frustrated and stumped by what appears to be going backwards, losing ground, or getting visited by the great annoying god Loki.

  

It is not unusual for us to instantly hit a wall when we are feeling so happy, so in charge, and so very sure we have mastered a big chunk of our lives. We then conclude, without even actively considering all the choices, that something bad surely is happening. We have stopped or slowed or are going backwards. Why did we EVER think that we could succeed? No one lets me get ahead! See, I try and what is my reward - a massive smack down? When will I learn that life isn't fair? Why did they have to tease me like this? BASTARDS! 

 

Roll the tapes of the unending negative, painful, lower vibrations!

 

 







Sure, we can all spiral into a vortex of obsessing negativity. Dealing with that trap will be the focus of another post. This writing is specific to when we are doing all of our positive active work - reading daily meditations, practicing yoga, picking coins from the IChing, and doing everything that feels good. We have raised our vibrations and we just keep feeling more aligned, the synchronicities are zooming, and all seems centered and right in the world.


Then *BAM*! The flu, a break up, a pit of depression, daily anxiety on the brink of panic...where the heck did THAT come from?! It can be a small glitch, like just one night of feeling some free floating grief, or a small head cold, or we completely forget and miss that play that we wanted to go to and spent fifty five dollars for a good seat. We do what we need to do to care for our body, heart, and soul and we continue driving...a little shaken and wobbly from the hit.

It can be a bigger pothole,  and we just can't keep driving along. We find ourselves face down into a ditch. Perhaps we twisted an ankle into a bad sprain, or we are so sad that no Lifetime Channel movie and pint of ice cream can solve the crying in a few hours. Maybe we discover that the promotion that we thought was a done deal for us ended up being handed over to someone else. There are a number of experiences that fall under this category of change. When we hit this size pothole we take a few days off to heal, or a few weeks off to readjust. We will continue driving after this digger, we just need more help and Spiritual muscle to get back moving.

And then, well, there are the huge potholes that really make it difficult to flip into an understanding that this event truly is along our path. These are the ones when we lose it and yell, "Are you freaken' KIDDING ME?!"

These potholes on our path show themselves as something very big and deep - we may visit the Dark Night of the Soul, http://www.themystic.org/dark-night/. This time is imperative for our continuation on the road to a higher vibration. Remember, we are NOT going backwards. We are still on the road, OUR road. We are waiting. We need more assistance and by searching for and receiving this assistance, we find that we are strengthening our Spiritual muscles.

We ALL hit potholes. The best way to deal, is to accept that we are always moving. Stay true to our guts, be honest, and just be present in whatever and wherever we are. This too shall pass.

It is good news to hit a pothole. It means that we are raising our vibrations and as we do so, we hit a little pocket of lower vibration. *BARUMPTTHUMP*! Into it we go...and then we can raise our vibration, bringing ourselves up and out of a pothole, that once worked through, will forever be cleaned and closed.

When I hit a pothole while moving along happily on my path, I often think of Deer medicine from
Jamie Sams & David Carson's Medicine Cards:

"Gentleness. One day Fawn heard Great Spirit calling to her from the top of Sacred Mountain. Fawn immediately started up the trail. She didn't know that a horrible demon guarded the way to Great Spirit's lodge. The demon was trying to keep all the beings of creation from connecting with Great Spirit. He wanted all of Great Spirit's creatures to feel that Great Spirit didn't want to be disturbed. This would make the demon feel powerful, and capable of causing them to fear him.

Fawn was not at all frightened when she came upon the demon. This was curious, as the demon was the archetype of all the ugly monsters that have ever been. The demon breathed fire and smoke and made disgusting sounds to frighten Fawn. Any normal creature would have fled or died on the spot from fright.

Fawn, however, said gently to the demon, "Please let me pass. I'm on the way to see Great Spirit."

Fawn's eyes were filled with love and compassion for this oversized bully of a demon. The demon was astounded by Fawn's lack of fear. No matter how he tried, he could not frighten Fawn, because her love had penetrated his hardened, ugly heart.

Much to the demon's dismay, his rock-hard heart began to melt, and his body shrank to the size of a walnut. Fawn's persistent love and gentleness had caused the meltdown of the demon. Due to this gentleness and caring that Fawn embodied, the pathway is now clear for all of Great Spirit's children to reach Sacred Mountain without having to feel the demons of fear blocking their way.

Deer teaches us to use the power of gentleness to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are trying to keep us from Sacred Mountain. Like the dappling of Fawn's coat, both the light and the dark may be loved to create gentleness and safety for those who are seeking peace.

If Deer has gently nudged its way into your cards today, you are being asked to find the gentleness of spirit that heals all wounds. Stop pushing so hard to get others to change, and love them as they are. Apply gentleness to your present situation and become like the summer breeze: warm and caring. This is your tool for solving the present dilemma you are facing. If you use it, you will connect with Sacred Mountain, your centering place of serenity, and Great Spirit will guide you.

Contrary: Deer in the contrary position indicates that you are courting your fear by fighting the internal demons of negative ideas. This is a clue to you that force is not always the best method. You may not be willing to love yourself enough to feel your fears and let them go. You may be projecting your fears on others. It may also be others whom you fear, reminding you of a time when you reacted to life in much the same manner. At any rate, love is the key. The only true balance to power is the love and compassion of Deer. Be willing to find things to love about yourself and others, and your demons will melt away. Your fears cannot exist in the same place that love and gentleness abide.

Remember, Fawn can teach you many lessons about unconditional love. In its true application, unconditional love means that no strings are attached. The gentleness of Fawn is the heart-space of great Spirit which embodies His/Her love for us all."

May today be a First Day to Begin understanding that our potholes are just our way of meeting and surpassing a lower vibration. May today be a First Day to Begin equating our potholes to the demons which Deer encountered on her way to Great Spirit. Through love, compassion, and calm behavior, she waited on her path for the demon to melt away so that she could continue on her journey. May today be a First Day to Begin our pride and gratitude for all the potholes that we find ourselves falling into, and the love and compassion that helps us find our way through.

"Gosh, that takes me back...or is it forward? That's the trouble with time travel, you never can tell."

- Dr. Who

And What About Our Mourning...

A friend asked me about advice for mourning. It brought up images of mourning for the loss of a person in our life as well as the loss of hope with life. I thought of the grieving that must occur when we have a significant loss of even a set of beliefs about who we are in this life experience.

"To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness."

- Eric Fromm

People mourn in different ways and for different reasons. The feelings of mourning or grieving are important. The first experience is typically shock and numbness. This reaction exists not only when we find out about a death that greatly impacts us, but it can also be when we believe that hope and faith in a particular way of life is gone. We can grieve the loss of a job, our ability to walk, and a political or global situation.

“Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing...” 

Elizabeth Gilbert

As humans we have egos. Egos are what keep us from spiraling off the planet. We need them. Egos tell us which house we live in, how to buy eggs and fruit, what clothes to wear, and so many other things that help us to function and identify ourselves relative to the world. 

We attach to these Ego perceptions. We attach to the people and pets in our lives that we love and that we perceive have value to us and to our beliefs. We attach to things about ourselves such as looks, skills, and abilities that we perceive have value to us. We can attach to beliefs, hopes, and standards for how the world should work and what we value in society. When the status of any of these changes without our preparation, we first feel the detachment from this person, our self identity, or society. This is jarring! It can feel as if a limb has been torn off us. To a degree, this is true.

We all have Chakras or energy vortexes. These Chakras have a strong relationship with things around us that we attach to.   The end of these cone shaped vortexes envelope and have a real exchange with the energy of a person, our beliefs, and society. When something is taken away from that Chakra, we experience it deeply. Think of when a bandaid is torn off of our skin. At the very first moment it is not felt, however shortly afterwards it can be extremely painful. The pain of loss can seem unbearable at times. None of us should judge the level of pain, the validity of the pain, or the duration of the pain that comes with mourning; not for ourselves and not for others. This is a unique journey.

 After the shock subsides, sometimes we physically see bright lights and lose our sight. We can fall to our knees and sob uncontrollably. We can vomit, shake, run as fast and as far as we can to now where...just away. We can even act like nothing just happened. We can put the trash out. We can take on extra hours at work. We can choose to avoid making any changes to our lives. Any way that we react to our loss and any way that we experience our mourning is beyond an understanding of planning how to be in the world. We just don't know what we will feel, for how long, or the evolution of the process, until we are in it.

One of the most challenging aspects of mourning and grieving is that it is not usually evident on our bodies like a broken arm. The pain and suffering is real, however it is difficult to "categorize" because emotional pain is invisible. We do not often give or receive the level of compassion, care, and respite that is necessary for a healthy grieving process.

“It was a fine cry - loud and long - but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow.” 

-Tony Morrison

Could anyone truly "move on" from the construction of the Berlin Wall?

We must protect our grieving. We must consider ourselves in the Intensive Care Unit of a hospital...a hospital of wholeness. Others cannot see our mourning in the way that it is so obvious to us. And after a time, they may want us to "move on". which of course there is no such thing. That is a linear assumption. There is no moving on past a great loss, there is transformation through a great loss. 

No, the country, the world, the people could not end their grieving for all those years, until they smashed it down.

 Mourning a loss and the subsequent changes to our Egos is riddled with emotions. We must experience these emotions so that the energy can flow out and through us. We have an undetermined process at hand, and we must ride the river that we have found ourselves upon. If we do not fully immerse ourselves in our grieving process, addictions, anger, illness, and other reactions will not only rob us of this life experience in the moments of the grieving, but everything thereafter.

“It was too perfect to last,' so I am tempted to say of our marriage. But it can be meant in two ways. It may be grimly pessimistic - as if God no sooner saw two of His creatures happy than He stopped it ('None of that here!'). As if He were like the Hostess at the sherry-party who separates two guests the moment they show signs of having got into a real conversation. But it could also mean 'This had reached its proper perfection. This had become what it had in it to be. Therefore of course it would not be prolonged.' As if God said, 'Good; you have mastered that exercise. I am very pleased with it. And now you are ready to go on to the next.”

 - C.S. Lewis

What advice can be given about mourning? To do it, that is the best advice. To mourn the loss. To mourn the confusion to our Egos, whose job it is to keep us stable in a world of ever changing energy. Be kind to ourselves. Do grieving well by standing firm in its existence. And when the last salt is tasted from our tears, release all that we held so tightly, turn it over to the Divine, and open our hearts and arms to Love, Trust, Faith, and New Potential...sending a kiss of gratitude to guide what has passed into the new energy of its own light.

May Today be a First Day to Begin honoring our mourning and grieving. May we know that the transformation of our lives will be safe, even during the most painful times of shock and sadness. May Today be a First Day to Begin to accept this process of mourning. May we respect the work that is necessary for our Chakras to heal, for our heart to find its solace, and for our Egos to find new balance. We may not see or know the mourning of others and they may not see or know of ours, however it is real and it exists. It is ours and may we find the self love necessary to ask for help, receive support, and see the guidance that will surely be present. 

Getting Into the New Paradigm - Dropping Sand Bags.

The New Paradigm has a higher energy vibration. We can't get into the New Paradigm if we are carrying toxic energy.

While there has been healing work that many of us have done over the years, much of that involved our head mind thoughts and feeling reactionary emotions. Often times "therapy" work was just a way to perpetuate and swim in the negative energy. Constantly getting into the sludge is no way to raise our vibrations. Staying in the energy of "something is wrong with me"  is also keeping us in a lower vibration.

There was a time when therapy of this sort was very helpful. To begin unpacking things about us could be very good movement. Movement is essential for change. Within reason, even directed movement can be successful, however, in the long run, it is our own unique process, being witnessed and applauded in its organic display, that truly makes the difference for preparing to enter in to the New Paradigm.

The Old Paradigm type of talking therapies were good starters to an initial willingness to shift. I have enjoyed studying, collaborating, and being in rich conversations regarding many different therapeutic approaches. When therapy talking stayed in the head and thought process, then nothing really changed. It is only in the deep, gut AH HA moments that a true revelation occurs.  The bottom line outcome for the first line of introductory work preparing us for the New Paradigm is to "lighten the load".

Each negative thought creates a lower vibration "sand bag" that hangs off our hot air balloons. Talking about our sand bags does NOT mean that it drops off of the hot air balloon. DROPPING it is the only way to allow ourselves to fly higher. When we release the heavier and slower vibrations from our psyche, then we have a higher vibration. This results in our feeling more joy, happiness, peace, love, and all of those other marvelous things.These positive energies are what the New Paradigm is made of.


Really look at this picture and FEEL it...FEEL these sandbags on YOU:

With all of these heavy bags on us, how can we possible fly? Resentments, regrets, self hate, judgements of others, hidden secrets of our truths (i.e. being gay, fear of changing career paths), anger, victimization, and other lower energy vibrations bog us down. 

We must cut and release our sandbags. We can actually do this by visualizing the sand bags in our mind and seeing ourselves cutting the ropes, burning the ropes, or untying the ropes to our sandbags. When they drop, we shoot up a little higher. As we can imagine, sometimes when we release a heavy sand bag, the momentum of raising our vibration so quickly can feel nauseating and uneasy in our guts.

Soon enough we will find our balance in the lighter way in which we engage in the world. We will feel freer, happier, and have a more expansive way to see the world. When we drop our sandbags, it positively impacts the collective consciousness of humanity and aids in the wonderful momentum that is happening globally.

Yoga, Meditation, Energy work, Shaman journey work, Archetype reflection, Runes, Angel Cards, Animal Medicine Cards, Chanting, Vision Quests, Tarot, and Ceremony and Rituals, are some of the tools that we can use to help ourselves come to revelations in a deep cellular awareness level. By choosing to have an intention of Freedom, Complete Love, and Total Peace, sandbags can just start falling off as a natural occurrence to our commitment to a higher vibration.

Sometimes we can see the story and / or feel the lower vibration energy in a sand bag when it is releasing and gets dropped. Other times the releasing and drop occur, but we just experience what seems like free floating feelings of anger, frustration, desperation, etc. Allow these emotional experiences to just flow out and away. We have released and dropped a sand bag. We do not need to follow it, hash it over, dump the sand on our heads, or talk about it over and over again. We can have gratitude and rejoice when we feel the weight of a heavy sandbag go. Peace and happiness will ensue as we experience a higher ride.

May Today be a First Day to Begin releasing and dropping our sandbags. May we look to the heights of love, joy, peace, bliss, and happiness. May Today be a First Day to Begin our intention of cutting the ties of the negative emotions and the negative beliefs that keep us and humanity skimming the ground in our beautiful balloons. May we get excited, motivated, and continue feeling the good vibrations of the guarantee of the New Paradigm, soaring ever higher and higher in OUR BEAUTIFUL BALLOONS!

 

But Why Is It So Difficult and SLOW?

ARRGHHH!! This New Paradigm sounds really great, but why are things so difficult and slow moving right now?

I completely understand people's skepticism and also experiences of frustration. For the past three years I have been very intrigued by my own lack of, what seems to be, motivation. I have always been a fast moving, high energy person who consistently kept going and going and going... 

In July of 2010, after I made a major change in my life, suddenly the person who I knew could make anything happen quicker than the speed of light, well, she seemed to have disappeared!

As I spoke to more people, I discovered that in the summer and fall of 2010 many people were leaving jobs and relationships that they had been in for eight to ten years. It was like we all woke up out of a depression that we didn't even know we had fallen into. A spell had been broken.

Several people felt as desperate and bleak as I did during the beginning months. Luckily I knew the stages of what I will call a Spiritual Awakening, however that didn't lessen the pain, the confusion, the anxiety, or the hopelessness.  I knew that all of my ego constructs had been taken away from me. In my case, I chose to leave a liberal faith community that I raised my children in, volunteered for, and worked tirelessly to support for over twenty years. In leaving it the way that I did, because I could not allow an extremely unhealthy situation to continue on the part of a church leadership under which I worked for ten years, I knew that I would be blacklisted. At first I was surprised that the larger denomination, which had praised my work as a professional in my field as a youth adviser and a director of faith development, turned its back on me. Because I confronted the hierarchy and Old Paradigm views and rigid system, I was discredited in many ways. This led to the loss of a relationship with a faith and a community that I had built and been an integral part of for over twenty years. It took me a year to fully assimilate all that had occurred. While it felt like a betrayal, as some of the lay leaders of the church as well as the professional leaders in the denomination were very aware of the emotional and mental abuse that the staff was dealing with, I understood that they were too scared to stand out.  No one wanted to speak out and risk disassociation from the system, except me.

So, I left a system that I had invested so much time, effort, emotion, and money into. It was a system and as a system of the Old Paradigm, I had to be free of it. It was perpetuating patriarchal abuse, secrecy, separation, and rigid classism.  When we leave a system, we ourselves must break down. A breakdown leads to a break through. Within a month's time, one of the women that I had always felt connected to at the church contacted me. As we discussed my resignation it became apparent that we would begin our own community, and we did.

So the first thing to note is that when we shift, knowingly or by an act beyond our conscious control, we are being pulled away from something that we believed that we belonged to and that belonged to us. Our chakras enveloped that system as a part of us and when we leave, *YOWCH*, it hurts. We can also feel betrayed, rejected, and abandoned.

Lyrics:
Weapons and warfare
Leave it all back there
Tell all the powers to be
We’re starting something
Built up from nothing
Something you can’t see
And if you have a spark
Then let it grow
You feel the weight on your shoulders
Just let it go
And if you have to leave
Then, let me know
‘Cause I can go it alone
You can go it alone
You can go it alone
We are on our own
You can go it alone
This is a protest
The sound of progress
Tell all the powers to be
We’ll take it back now
Light up the black out
Rise up from your seat
And if you have a spark
Then let it grow
You feel the weight on your shoulders
Just let it go
And if you have to leave
Then, let me know
‘Cause I can go it alone
You can go it alone
You can go it alone
We are on our own
You can go it alone
And if you have to leave
Then, let me know
‘Cause I can go it alone
You can go it alone
You can go it alone
We are on our own

The most important and yet the most devastating thing is to know that we can and we must go it alone.
We have to do this:

In order to do this:

And THIS is the part that is the most difficult:

Because we are just hanging. We are hanging all by ourselves. And we forget that a caterpillar has a structure and a shape to it than must completely redefine its very solid format so that it can become something entirely new.

This cycle of breaking down, being goop, then reforming, takes a long time sometimes. When we have an entire society with its collective consciousness going through such major waking up, it is going to take each one of us an uncertain amount of time to complete this process. We will not be anything like the old creature. In this way we create the New Paradigm with New Creatures. So if during this time you try try try to get a job and it isn't working, that is perhaps because you are in your cocoon and you cannot know or be in the job that is right for you until you have emerged. I understand that this can feel very scary, especially if it involves finances. Remember that this is a collective movement, and therefore we all must step away from perpetuating the abusive economic system that exists. The current rigid structure of the economy must go through its breaking down, being goop, and  reforming cycle as well. We want changes, and they are happening. It is better that they work slowly so that we move everything over to the New Paradigm in a cautious, firm foundational way. We do not lack motivation, we are in our chrysalis stage and as such, no movement is what is necessary (yet), as lonely, confusing, and perplexing as it may feel.

It is no longer one or two people having awakenings now and again, it is the collective desire to do so. The Tipping Point has been reached...it is inevitable.

May Today be A First Day To Begin to have some Faith in each other trusting that we are making it through the difficult and slow times that are valuable aspects of a Global Spiritual Awakening.

Thank you all for what you have been enduring. I have Faith in US.